Kristina (cutiepie86) wrote in singleandpissed,

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Anyone ever felt like a door mat?

Well let's see.... I just feel i dunno... used... Like I was a door mat and let him walk all over me or something. I mean when he wanted me I was there but when he didn't I was just out of the picture.. I mean in the begunning... It was like... him and I then he moved on to Hollie.... then he dropped her... then he moved back to me for a while.. then we faded out then he came back.. then all of a sudden he decides.. well I don't know if I like you anymore.. Just liek that? I mean HELLO!! I didn't know someone could change their mind so easily..?? I mean I am trying soooooooo hard to dispose of my feelings for him but it's sooo hard. I mean.. I can't just like someone one day and not the next.. It just doesn't work like that with me. Maybe he was just lieing the whole time? Maybe he was just trying to flatter me or something?? Ugh I don't know But it's really hard to go through this.. trust me! But I guess you've just gotta be strong.. and tough.. and I'll get thorugh it... well hopefully... I mean I WILL!!!!! I'll get a guy that wont just want me when he feels like he wants me.. but will want me all the time and not just when he feels like it.. Cus that's wrong and it can definetly make a person feel like crap! I mean like what two weeks ago he told me that he liked me or whatever...? Why did he even tell me that? It prob wasn't true.. I mean he prob just wanted to humor me or something, because then a couple of weeks later he turns around and tells ppl that he doesn't know if he still likes me.. and he kinda lets off a vibe that lets me know at the same time.. I had suspected for like a week or so that he didn't like me.. I never really thought he did.. But whatever.. And.. ok.. this upset me the most.. One night he was like I HATE GIRLS... I'm sorry but you don't tell a girl that. I mean HELLO!! Expecially one that likes you.. Maybe that was his hint to me to fuck off??? Hard to tell but it hurts your feelings let me tell you.. Then he goes and says he hates one of my really good friends.. and knows that she'll read it and knows that i'll read it.. I'm sorry but I don't think that's right?? I don't know but what I do know is... I'm trying soooo hard to get over him and to think about going to school and finding a new guy.. maybe even someone that'll like me back?
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